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Status Of Women In Pashtoon
Society
Pakhtun culture, civilization and
history is centuries old. It has its origin in the Pakhtun language and
nation. Pashto language which is almost five thousand years old is not
only a language but a code of life called Pakhtoonwali. It is such a
code which covers all aspects of the Pakhtun way of life. Pakhtuns live
their lives according to the code prescribed for them by Pakhtunwali.
Anyone who ceases to follow this code ceases to be a true Pakhtun or a
member of the Pakhtun code. All those traits or virtues which design
Pakhtoonwali make an ideal Pakhtoon. These virtues are courage, honor,
loyalty, truthfulness, justice self-respect, hospitality and so on.
Paktoons live their lives according to Pakhtoonwali. Their customs
regarding the decisions about their lives has been set by the same
code. Pakhtuns who do not follow the rules and principles set by
Pakhtoonwali are treated with indignity in the Pakhtoon society. It
sometimes becomes very cruel as individuals find themselves helpless in
front of this code as has been mentioned in a tappa;
Pakhtu as a code of life gets cruel
and inhuman, as one has to sacrifice a lot to observe it strictly. A
pakhtun beloved is asking her lover to get ready for any consequences
to live up to the standard of Pakhtunwali.
Pakhtunwali
does not exist in written form. It is based on conventions and
practices left to them from their forefathers. The psyche, culture and
trends of a nation are moulded by the geography, environment and
economic conditions of the region where they live. Poverty and
backwardness leads people towards ignorance. Poverty and ignorance is a
curse and is a great hurdle in the way of constructive and objective
thinking. Constructive thinking is followed by constructive activity.
Pakhtoons are generally poor. Their living is mainly dependent on
agriculture but a larger part of the land is not fertile. A Pakhtoon
woman has to wait for the fulfillment of her smallest desires for long
i.e.; till the reaping of crops. If there is a good crop, she gets the
gift promised to her by the husband;
Pakhtoon society comprises of different tribes (both the Pakhtuns of Afghanistan and N.W.F.P). Pakhtuns live in the settled area, mountains and the tribal area of Pakistan. The former are flexible as compared to the very rigid pakhtuns of mountains and of the tribal area. Like people in other societies pakhuns can also be divided into upper, lower and the middle class. Women of the upper class cannot break the social shackles. They are bound by conventions and restrictions. Women of the lower class work side by side with men. The y cannot get education due to financial problems. Change has taken place only in the lot of women of the middle class. It is the middle class in societies which works for the progress and prosperity.
As due to the geographical and environmental conditions Pakhtuns live a hard and tough life which is followed by extreme temperament. They are intolerant and impatient people. Extreme moods make them take any action even at the cost of their lives;
Pakhtoon women have also got extreme
moods. They are not afraid of death and willingly make sacrifices for
the family honour. Despite all the restrictions on her in all walks of
life, pakhtun women know how to live her life with dignity and honour
which gives her a distinguished position. She is the preserver of
Pakhtun culture. She possesses knowledge and wisdom and always upholds
the banner of peace as pakhtun man talks only through the language of
gun. Pakhtuns have never worked for the promotion of peace. Enmities
and hostilities in this society last for even centuries. People who
work for peace and settlements are discouraged and considered as
cowards.
Pakhtun society is not sympathetic
towards women. A young woman whose husband dies spends all her life
with a small child. Male children are brought up with the intention to
kill the murderer of his father. Pakhtuns never forgive their enemies
and always wait for a chance to avenge them as it's expressed by a
Pashto proverb:
Pakhtuns
love strong moral character. They do not allow morally corrupt people
to stay around them i.e.; in the neighborhoods or villages. Women
cannot even think of marrying the man of her choice. Woman are never
encouraged to live alone. Divorce, illicit relations, runaway marriages
and prostitution is strongly condemned by the Pakhtuns. They openly
condemn and discourage such acts which bring disgrace to the honour of
families and lead to enmities between families. Punishments for the
immoral acts are severe and while dealing with such cases Pakhtuns even
set aside law and religion. Even in such cases woman suffers more then
man or in plain words we can say that such punishments are designed for
women. Whatever the drawbacks of pakhtun code, it is an undoubted fact
that Pakhtun society is free from the moral evils from which most
societies suffer.
Pakhtuns consider their honour and
dignity supreme to everything. They never want their women to be
humiliated and insulted openly. Every pakhtun is strictly vigilant to
his family honour and neither does he interfere in the affairs of
others. They do not give their daughters to those who possess low oral
character and enjoy no respects in society. At the same time they do
not consider it important to get her will in decisions regarding her.
Daughters, sisters and wives are not given share in inheritance.
Amongst the feudals it is not even considered important that she should
get married because of the fear of losing her property. Women have no
choice but to bow down their heads to the authority of man or otherwise
they face strong condemnation from the family. In most cases women go
against their nature and sacrifice because of the fear of family and
the society.
Pakhtuns live in joint families. They
cannot act independently mainly because of the heads of families. They
have to obey their elders regarding the very important decisions of
their lives even if the decisions are wrong. Individuals cannot act
independently out of the fear of social boycott. It is such a society
in which the lives of individuals are destroyed by the cruel practices
and customs. Only few people have the courage to go against the norms.
A pakhtun woman sacrifices her wishes
for the sake of her family. She lives her life in strict purdah in her
parent's home from where she goes to her husband's home where she
spends the rest of her life in complete obedience. She has got no right
to say "no" to any decision regarding her as this is against
the worms. The birth of a daughter is not welcomed as against the birth
of a son which is celebrated. Men can marry twice and even thrice in
order to provide a male hair to the family. A woman who has many sons
born to there enjoys honour and respect in the family.
Pakhtun woman supports her family in
different ways. She stands by her family through all trials and
tribulations. She works in the fields, brings water, looks after the
cattle and home and trains children; Pakhtun woman trains her male
child in such a way as to enhance all the noble traits in him. She
idealizes men of strong character. Pakhtoons possess strong moral
character and all those foreigners who have come in close contact with
them are a witness to it.
Pakhtun woman enjoy few powers and
rights yet she has many responsibilities to fulfill. She knows fully
well what is expected of her and stands still and firm in the face of
any circumstances. Men love weapons and consider them important for
self-defense. A Pakhtun woman does not hesitate from the use of weapons
if it becomes unavoidable for the sake of honour and dignity. As she
considers honour supreme over everything and prefer death to disgrace.
Pashto folk poetry abounds in expressing such feelings of women;
Pakhtoon woman lives all her life to
uphold the principles of true love-loyalty sincerity and faithfulness.
She does not violate the trust reposed in her. Her life is the symbol
of unfulfilled wishes and sacrifices. Even in the worst of
circumstances she never utters a single word of complain as she knows
that such an act would be a shame and dishonour to what is expected of
her. In the absence of males she defends the family honour and dignity
at any cost. What she can do is to ask her fiance or husband to come
back to his land;
She does not stop men from fighting
for the honour of religion or motherland. If necessary, she would
willingly go into the battlefield with them to encourage them in the
noble and exalted cause. They encourage man in their songs to fight
till the end as running away from the battlefield would be great shame;
Pakhtun woman is like a spring of
water in the mountains and a fresh flower in the deserts. She is a
source of consolation and solace to man. But she has always been
treated with injustice and inequality. She is even given to the enemies
in exchange for peace-making and suffers for the ill-deeds of men in
the most inhuman practice (swara).
The
in-laws treat her with in-dignity and humiliation;Due
to the social restrictions and exploitation pakhtun woman has been
unable to prove her talents and potentials in learning and literature.
Nature has blessed man and woman alike with both intelligence and
feelings. It is the society which deprive them of opportunities still
many women have proved themselves in the field of learning and
literature and politics. Their names deserve credit and respect. They
are Zaitoon Bano, Salma Shaheen, Fauzia Anjum, Syeda Bushra Begum,
Begum Naseem Wali Khan, Begum Zari Sarfaraz, Alaf Jana Khattak and
Syada Qanita Begum. It is hoped that the achievements of these ladies
will encourage other women to come forward and do commendable job for
the society. It is also hoped that as changes are talking place in all
parts of the world and there have been efforts for modernization, the
same can be hoped for the lot of Pukhtoon woman. The need is for
bringing healthy changes in every system not a western-modernization
but a modernization based on our values. She also needs financial
independence, which can win her the real freedom.